Norms and Normal

Something I’ve heard lately is my conservative friends and family members noting that things are different now. 

They keep saying that politics is just political: the election is over! Let's all move on together. They get mad when people block or unfriend them, their grandkids won't call, and suddenly holiday visits are being canceled. I'm not sure how many of those folks will read this, but I'm mostly writing it for the other ones. 

You're not crazy. This is different. It's been different for a while, but the last cycle was especially bad. 

Not the part where Trump promised Muslims in Dearborn that he would stop the war in Gaza, and then they were aghast that he's already going back on that and cozying up to Israel before even being elected. Not the part where Kamala said she was the hope of the oppressed people and then spoke over those people and said “I'm speaking" when they raised concerns. 

That's just politics, baby!

No it's stuff like…

A Study In Contrasts

This stuff is new. But it’s not that new. Let's take a look back to 2011. 

It's important to look at this because this was before Trump ascended the golden escalator to announce his candidacy in 2015. It's also important because it's scapegoating Muslims, which is a common thread in the alt-right. I say the alt-right, because it was not a direct policy goal of mainstream Republican ideology, even after 9-11.

As an example, in 2008 when John McCain was running against Obama, the following exchange happened at a town hall. 

Now, inferences have been made here that he is implying Arabs are somehow not family men and citizens. Maybe he meant that: I can’t know for sure. But really I think he was just addressing the fact that he disagreed with Obama on policy. Even if he were an Arab, it would not be about that identity at all, it would be about having a campaign to resolve the question of how to govern. One can be forgiven for forgetting this when he chose Palin as his running mate.

In the lead up to the 2024 election, MAGA Republicans (which is around 52% of registered republicans polled) said that there would be cheating and lying and an attempt to curtail the will of the people in the election. After less than a full 48 hours after polls opened, Harris conceded the election on November 6th. 

In 2020 Trump (who was in power at the time) claimed the Democrats somehow cheated, and never actually conceded. His allies lodged 62 lawsuits in 9 states. Trump tried to pressure the Georgia secretary of state to “find votes." It was revealed that he and his allies tried to do a variety of untested (and some actually illegal) political maneuvers, including having unlawfully appointed electors convince the vice president refuse to certify the election. 

It's important to note that multiple progressive and liberal-leaning outfits have insisted that Trump somehow cheated in 2024, but the Democrats in power refuse to act on this as there's no actual evidence of fraud. The assumptions about vote tampering are the same as they were in 2020 (inferences and deductions based on what is believed to be anomalous voting behavior), but the thing to mark is that the people in power on the democratic side have refused to bog down the process because they want to preserve the norm of a smooth transition of power. 

Norms

Typically the argument has been that Trump and his movement are norm-breakers. There are many things in life that are not explicitly against the rules. There are things people don't do. Not because they’re illegal, or even impossible, but because you don’t do it. That’s basically what a norm is.

There are no direct rules in chess that say you can't punch your opponent in the face. But it's assumed that would be unfair (unless you're playing chess boxing). As the NYT will tell you, Trump is different. Let me give you an example. 

There is a story from way back in 1996, when The Association to Benefit children held a ribbon-cutting ceremony for a new nursery. In attendance were people like Abigail Disney, Frank and Kathy Lee Gifford, and the land developer whose generous donation made the nursery possible: Steven Fisher. Out of nowhere, Donald Trump entered the building. People were confused, he had never expressed an interest in the association, and he had never given a cent to the charity. Then, he mounted the dais and took the seat of Steven Fisher, who had not yet arrived. Everyone up there knew he had never donated to the group. But they didn't want to make a scene, and no one had ever dealt with this sort of thing. It wasn't illegal. But it was certainly dishonest. The only thing keeping your average person from doing that is fear. Not fear of death or punishment, but the shame at being discovered or confronted. 

That's what's different. We have seen it time and time again in his private life and his acts as president. When the only thing keeping someone from doing a thing is “political suicide" or “loss of legitimacy," the incentive is not sufficient to change their behavior.

But that’s not enough: the way Trump and the MAGA collective works, they can't just ignore it. They specifically deny it and accuse their opponent of doing what they’ve just done. They're not sore losers, you cheated. They're not sore winners, you tried to cheat and failed. 

And here's where it gets frustrating: they're not far right: you're a radical. That's the accusation leveled against everyone who criticized their policy preferences. Kamala, the former prosecutor and life long institutionalist, was secretly a Marxist. 

And now, after all that: you should put it all aside and work together. After four years of being obstructionist, and fighting every step of the way claiming that they didn’t lose an election and that they are the victims of a vast conspiracy, you need to be quiet and do what they say because they were legitimately elected in a democratic process.

That’s not normal. You’re not crazy. But not all norms are good. I couldn’t get my conservative friends to admit they believed that authoritarianism was good but only if they were in charge. The mask has come off: they don’t see themselves as being hypocritical for having a thin blue line sticker next to their “come and take it” flag: they aren’t worried about the police being the ones taking their guns and never have been. A lot of the BS is being peeled away, and the plausible deniability is eroding quickly. That means you can be honest.

With Authority

There are a number of articles already out there with advice for how to survive and affect change in a time of authoritarianism. I don’t want to just repeat them, but I do think it’s useful to summarize some here.

1. Don’t obey in advance. - In this article from the last time around (2017), lit hub discusses the book “On Tyranny: 20 lessons from the 20th century.” A great example: In 1941, when Germany invaded the Soviet Union, the SS took the initiative to devise the methods of mass killing without orders to do so. They guessed what their superiors wanted and demonstrated what was possible. It was far more than Hitler had thought.

2. Act Locally first - It will have a much bigger impact on your life. If you have elected governors, congress people, attorneys general and other officials, they can ensure that your rights are protected even from federal overreach. The definition of grassroots movement is starting in a specific place and expanding outwards.

3. Volunteer and Work Outside the Government - Non-profits and the like are a great place to start affecting change that really helps the people you care about. Affecting the government is a good long-term goal, but as I said in my article on anarchism, sometimes that’s not enough in the long-term, and it’s a waste of energy to feel defeated when you can’t beat the inertia of political establishment.

With Family and Friends

This is important going into the Thanksgiving and Christmas season. I’ve been trying to think of what to do about meeting with people who I love but with whom I disagree on a number of key political and philosophical issues. Not just things like economic policy but the definition of humanity when you discuss human rights.

Relevant to #3 above, make sure the impact of your service takes them into consideration too. An acquaintance recently claimed that he had been suffering greatly under Biden’s administration, and accused me of somehow being an accomplice to this suffering by voting for him then and Kamala now. When I asked how he suffered, he (like everyone on Earth) had been the victim of a rise in costs and loss of income due to inflation. I explained to him that I had volunteered in soup kitchens and donated huge chunks of my income to local food shelters because other people I cared about had lost their homes and had to skip meals to feed their family. He got really quiet. I didn’t do anything to him, and in fact I was going out of my way to help people who were hurting way more than he was. I’m not saying this to gloat: I think some people just need help gaining perspective. Suffering is relative and incomparable, but making people aware of the suffering around them often helps them and the others.

This is important: help first. You’re going to feel vulnerable. I promise it will help you to assume good intentions. They have a lot of the same pain and suffering you do. They're human and they're having a hard time. Try to remember that when you read the next paragraph.

You don't owe your family or friends anything. If they said or did things that hurt you in the run up to this election, you're under no obligation to pretend it didn't happen. If your family is like mine, they aren’t considering any of the victims that Trump and his MAGA surrogates target. Some folks are probably celebrating the suffering of specific people, but I don’t believe that’s the primary perspective. Unless you have a very specific circumstance, your family probably don’t see you as the enemy, even if they don’t agree with you. But now is probably a good time to make them understand that elections have consequences: sometimes unintended ones. It’s not your job to protect their feelings. It’s your job to protect your sanity and your rights. If that means doing things they don’t like, it’s unfortunate, but that’s how freedom works.

Good luck, take care of yourself and your loved ones, and know that you’re not the only one.